Astrology is an amazing study, a symbolic language.  As we look at a person’s horoscope, each symbol leads us deeper and deeper into who this person is.  When we truly understand who a person is, at their core, there is not a lot of space for judgment and even less room for self-righteousness.
When I work with a chart I go through a bit of a ritual, taking time to look at this piece, then that, always in the same order with every chart.  The routine helps to maintain order in my thinking.
As I go through this process there comes a moment, sometimes sooner, sometimes later, when I suddenly feel that I can touch the reality of the person.  In that moment, on some existential level, I feel like I “get” them.
I remember the day, many years ago, when I was looking at my mother’s chart.  It must have been the first time I looked into it deeply, examining each piece in turn, awaiting that moment of understanding.  When it came, it came suddenly and felt like a blow to the chest, I was astonished! 
I realized that my mother was not the woman I had thought she was all these years!  Being the youngest child, I was very close to my mother and I believed that I knew her well.
This was a very disturbing experience.  The woman I believed my mother to be was very clearly shown in my own chart.  My experience of her had little to do with her and almost everything to do with whom I believed her to be.
This realization brought much confusion to my thinking about all human relationships.  If I did not know my mother, whom I had spent more time with than any other person on the planet, how could I imagine that I knew anyone?  …  or that anyone knew, or ever would, know me?
To test my thinking, on this mother issue, I called each of my siblings and spoke to them (with their horoscopes in hand), basically interviewed them, about their (our) mother.  It was very clear through the conversations that even though the same woman gave birth and raised all five children in my family, we each had a very different mother.  Our experience of her was reflected in our charts.
Our relationships with our parents are pivotal in the development of the patterns that rule our adult significant relationships.  There is much that can be seen about our parents and our relationships with our parents within our own horoscopes.
Each of us comes into our lives with, an expectation, and idea, an archetype of the “mother” we will encounter.  Whatever woman gives birth to us or raises us will be fit into our picture.
If we expect (reflected in our chart through aspects to the Moon) a kind and gentle mother we will be acutely aware of all times when she is kind, loving and attentive.  We will put blinders on or make excuses when she is harsh or distant.  We will interact with our mother in ways that will bring out the best of her nurturing instincts; we will behave as a happy and content child. 
If we come into the world with the expectation of a harsh or cruel mother, we will interpret her expressions and her actions with that filter.  We will be less apt to notice her kindness and will interact with her in ways that will be more difficult for her to respond to with kindness.
If we are able to look at our patterns, our expectations and all our relationships with curiosity and open awareness we will likely notice how we know of the reality of the people closest to us.  We may notice how we find people to fit our patterns and our expectations.
If your parents are still alive, take into consideration the next time you see them that you may not know them very well at all.  After all, how well do you think they know you?
The same principle functions in reverse and in our other relationships as well.
Contact me to set up a time to look at some of these patterns in your own life.
We can explore your mom’s chart as well… or your dad’s.
Awareness can start the process of transforming difficult patterns in our relationships.